Bleeding

I went for my second ultrasound (within the first trimester). The OB-Sono found a minimal sub chorionic hemorrhage. If not taken care of, placental abruption may happen and I may lose the baby I prayed so hard for! It's scary. So, one week of bed rest and medication... hopefully symptoms will go away as I trek towards my second trimester in a few weeks time.

For now, the little one is under my sister's care (his Mommy Em-Em). My sibs and my mom have to take turns of taking him to school from Tuesdays to Saturdays. I actually miss our moments in the bathroom, in the dining hall, play time, and whatnot. But at least we still have study time and lull time before bed. The guilt has started, even before my little flower is born.

Today, he went with me during my sonogram. He asked my OB "are you gonna make my mom feel better? Are you gonna help her? Can I go to the clinic with my mom?" and so he was allowed to view the sonogram while I was being probed. He screamed "that's my baby girl, that's baby Leiko!". The doctor was amused and asked how he knew when she herself can't tell if it's indeed a baby girl or not hehehehe!!!

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Please help me pray for my little flower to thrive!!! =|

Maldita

I am having a girl, I know. My mood swings like a pendulum every second. The people around me are witness to how quickly I lose my temper over little things. I am not usually like this. I guess it helps that the husband is far away during the first trimester. Hehehe!!! Oh and I have mentioned the drama that envelopes me every minute too! Moody, irritable, sensitive, and all that crap that comes with being a girl. I hope my little flower will not give me a headache but pure joy and butterflies. I am excited to see her this Monday for an ultrasound. Let's see how big she's grown.

CAUTION: Pregnant, watch out!

Bedrest

I am advised to rest. Yesterday, the familiar lower abdominal dull pains were back. I went to the urgent care in the mall (thank God for them!) to have my urine checked. I was scared of having an infection. I waited for only less than an hour and I got my results and was able to do my prenatal a little too soon. No infection, advised to rest, and will have another ultrasound this Monday.

Spaghetti

Since I came to Cebu, I've been eating sweet spaghetti. I made a batch yesterday for Akio's birthday dinner. I am still enjoying the leftovers. The taste is comforting and satisfying. I guess this is pregnancy na gyud! I've been feeling a lot lazier the past few days. It has begun, pregnancy woes here I come! Bleh =P

Drama

What's with the holy mass that makes me go gaga? I was about to burst into tears when the Our Father was being sung. But my amusement over my crazy hormones over ruled the sentimentality hehehe!!! I remember two Sundays ago, I was about to cry to during the Kyrie part hahaha!!!

I am now on my eighth week and I feel great! Thank you Lord! A few more weeks and I will be on my second trimester... savoring all the green mangoes that I can while I'm still here in Cebu =)

Heartburn

It started with a dull stomach ache, just below my rib cage, then I felt my chest tightened. I needed to burp. I needed to feel lighter. I couldn't breathe properly. If I don't know any better, I'd think I was having a heart attack hehehe! But it was the nasty heartburn that I got after an awful dinner at this Vietnamese resto in Ayala. Although it was bothersome, it didn't stop me from sleeping like a bear.

This Sunday, baby will be eight weeks! Time flies... I am definitely bigger, my stomach heavier, my back hurting, my fingers getting pudgy, and my nose well ultra flare! LOL! I am glad the pimples are starting to disappear. I need to get comfortable dresses, I don't like wearing pants considering the humidity here. I need to get a body pillow and whatnots to make me less achy when I wake up from a good sleep.

I must admit that sometimes I do not feel pregnant at all. But maybe in two weeks this will change considering the rate of my growing baby bump. I can't wait!!!

Resting

I declared to take my day off yesterday. I planned to do nothing but indulge, because I haven't really slowed down since I got here. Yes, I am here in Cebu to everyone's surprise and to my amusement LOL!

I had to rest because the cramps are back. I guess my uterus is slowly ballooning again to make way for my almost two month old fetus. I couldn't believe all I did in the morning was sleep, I woke up to eat lunch, watch a movie, lounge, and eat some more. I thought I'd have all my energy up by night time but no, I slept so early! Wah! I feel so pregnant already.... hehehe!!!

Coke

Not good. Been feasting on Coke since last week! The hot and humid weather made me so. I should stop!!! I don't want to develop gestational diabetes.... waaah!

Oyster

A wave of disgust and stomach churning. I can't stand the smell of oyster sauce! Today, I ate two green mangoes with lunch. All I can remember were the mangoes, nothing more. Seems like I am not enjoying food as much as I should be. Nothing weird with that considering I am still in my first trimester.

I haven't been sleeping that much. I do get tired but errands and whatnots get in the way. There are things to do and not much time to do everything in one day.

I feel bigger now. I better check my weight, watch what I eat, exercise, and sleep more. Oh I'm still queasy with that darn smell. Maybe next week I wouldn't want to be near the kitchen anymore!

On a happier note, my little boy wonder is turning four soon!!! I am so excited for him! He is looking forward to his own "party"... ;-)

Seven

Seven weeks pregnant already, still no morning sickness! Praise the Lord! Still can't figure out what to eat. I get hungry very early in the morning, between 2:00 - 3:00 AM, then I'd have some warm milk and warm bread. I just like to sleep. I wake up to eat just because it's time to eat. I get full so easily. I can't remember nor savor the taste of what I'm eating. Right now, I just want to lie down. Sleep all I can. But there are chores and errands to be done.

The quick trip to LA was refreshing... was fun to hang out with the girls again!

Dearest

Dearest Little Leiko,

I have loved you even before I conceived you. I have cherished and longed for you in my dreams. I have prayed and wished so hard to have you. You are my sweet surprise this year and I can't wait to hold you in my arms.

Please hang in there little flower... be strong and I promise you I will be too. Let's go through this as gracefully as possible. And please don't scare me anymore, okay?

Thrive my butterfly, thrive! The beautiful world awaits for you. Kuya Akio is so excited to play with you. Daddy can't wait to pamper you! A lot of your family and relatives, and god fairies awaits for your arrival as well...

Take your sweet time. Be healthy. Be active. Kick if you must. Sommersault and whatnot, I won't mind. Enjoy your little playground, your home safe in mommy's womb.

Love always,

Mommy (",)

Scare

I guess paranoia is the twin sister of pregnant women. I could not help but worry, a lot. Yesterday was the brown discharge, this afternoon was a bloody streak. I was definitely spotting. I would have opted to carry through my Saturday without going to the emergency room. I rang my OB (whom I like a lot already) about my recurring cramps and whatnots. She advised me to go to the ER or wait until Monday for her. She advised me to get an ultrasound and the blood works. IF ONLY I HAD THE ULTRASOUND LAST FRIDAY!

The blood was enough for me to panic. I almost cried. I need to know what was going on. If I was losing the baby, I prayed for acceptance. If. But please no. I kissed and touched St. Therese' relic, superstitious... but no harm in believing. I kept praying. In my head, I kept reassuring myself. Mark kissed my forehead to comfort me, it almost made me cry. I manage to look calm. I didn't want to cause a stir and drama especially with my little boy. When I told him we were going to the hospital, he was so excited "is the baby coming out from your tummy now!?"... oh if only it were that soon.

The ER in Parker was pleasant as always. They were quick and friendly. They got about five vials of blood from me, got me an ultrasound, and urine test. My HCG levels are high as expected, and we saw the baby's heartbeat, and I am not having a bladder infection. I am good. It was somewhat a threatened miscarriage. Quite a strong description that I don't wish to expound.

This ordeal is new. No two pregnancies are alike, as they say.

Forward

I want it to be spring. I want my tummy in full bloom. I want to breeze thru the paranoia. I want to see my baby kick and hear her wail!!! The pain and discomfort, they're back. I just went to the OB for my first check, I was poked for prenatal blood works and I was probed. My uterus is bigger now which is a good sign. Unfortunately, I didn't get an ultrasound check. The baby is still too small, I won't see a heartbeat just yet.

After a late lunch, checking cars while waiting for our trusty old one at the service center, and soaking in the sun I was so tired. I fell asleep in a snap in a bike shop while little boy wonder did rounds of the red and black bike he so liked. It was a bit embarrassing, so we moved to a Thai restaurant which offered dimsum for afternoon snacks, yey! That was a treat... if only my day was good all the way.

During one of the so many toilet breaks, this time at the library, I found a hefty amount of discharge and a brownish streak on the toilet paper. I freaked out and called my doctor right away. She told me it could be the internal check she did that might have caused the discharge. She told me to update her during the weekend if I still get the discharge and if it gets redder.

I want to skip the months. I want to fast forward things. I want to know my baby is fine.

Kitchen

I wish I knew what it is that I wanted to eat. I have stocked quite a lot of green apples, mangoes, kiwis, strawberries, and bananas just in case I wanted the same things I loved when I was pregnant with Akio. So far, I have only eaten one mango and one banana, I don't even want to imagine how the green apple would taste like. I am not craving at all.

Yesterday, I only had banana and water for breakfast and that was enough. For lunch, I made a sweeter version of chicken adobo with pineapple juice and sugar hoping I would devour it with rice. I had my fill alright. For dinner, I made palabok which the husband loved so much! I got full right away.

I am stucked in the kitchen hoping to whip up something that would delight my fancy. I wish I knew what to eat. Maybe I am like this when I am pregnant, no appetite. I eat because I have to. I remember during my first pregnancy I would only eat fruits, milk, cheese, and eggs. Now, I vow to eat right, hoping my baby won't have any food allergies.

So far the discomfort around my pelvis have become duller and duller. Although my lower abdomen feels heavier than usual. I mean it should be, with a growing seed inside of me hehehe! I am also less tired than the last one.

Here's praying for a happy and graceful pregnancy ahead ;-)

Toilet

I feel like I was dreaming in the toilet. Last night, I don't remember having a good night sleep. I kept going to the toilet like I have a tank-ful of bladder! And now, I am very tired! SIGH! This is it! Early weeks of pregnancy does it again... welcome sloth sister! Hi hi hi!

Mood

I think my energy is way higher than I expected. I am lazy, pregnant or not anyways hehehe! But today, I just have to oblige myself to lying down and taking that nap with my little boy to alleviate the discomfort I am feeling. I can't wait to see my OB this Friday, to know and see if everything is okay.

I am paranoid, irritable, and I'd rather be left alone. I need to lift my spirits up. I need to be happy and cheery but somehow it's difficult. Although when I hold my little bun I can't help but smile... so I lie down, hold my tummy and pray.

I still have a lot of chores left undone and projects for the business shelved. I am tired of making excuses and being lazy. Sometimes I wish I have a magic wand!

Feast

I made up for the almost nothing I ate for breakfast! For lunch, we had inihaw na baboy, tinolang manok, and mangga't bagoong!!! For dinner, we had steamed dumplings, siamese garlic chicken, and sweet sticky rice with mango!!! My tummy is about to burst... although I didn't really eat a lot, I got full alright quite too soon! My heart is filled and happy... this baby surely likes Asian cuisine hi hi hi!!!

Oh, I hope this abdominal pain would go away... I'm getting paranoid =(

Symptoms

It feels like I just had my boobs done hahaha!!! It's firm, fuller, and perkier! It's heavier too. I know that in a couple of weeks, I may need to tuck my bras and take out the bigger cup size. I still have the cramps and lower back pains.

Last night the chocolate milk tasted weird! I thought it was already expired but not. Oh well this is the start of not knowing what to eat. I only had a slice of bread with strawberry jam, a bite of turkey bacon, and a sip of milk tea for breakfast this morning. Nothing taste good. I have to find what I can eat...

I am reliving the joys and whines of being pregnant... but never mind the whines. I am ecstatic and haven't landed yet.

Prayer

Dearest Mary, I look to you now for the help of your maternal love. You understand my trials as an expectant mother. You bore Jesus in your womb. You know the doubts and anxieties that beset me; you know the bodily suffering I endure. Like you, may I turn all these sorrows into joy. You overcame anxiety by a loving trust in God; you overcame doubt by gentle resignation to His will. Your motherhood lifted your mind above earth and kept it close to God. So speak to Jesus now with me, beloved Mother, as I seek prayerfully to learn to bear the trials of motherhood with joy. Mother of Perpetual Help, Pray for me!

Sleep

Is what I did. I woke up at almost eleven this morning, and slept after lunch! Never mind the loads of laundry and other chores... I just have to sleep and it's very refreshing!!!

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Today, I am still having cramps around my pelvis and lower abdomen. My lower back hurts as well. I don't know if I have some kidney infection, I am still waiting for my urine culture results. I don't want to take antibiotics just yet.

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Carine dropped by and gave me some home made bibingka and bihon. That was an awesome merienda!!! Oh I'm going to miss her, she and her husband are moving to Texas... sigh =(